Short people procreating with tall people may help climate change

We all need to do our part in combating climate change, however selecting a partner purely based on height never occurred to me as a method to fight climate change. A guest essay writer for the New York Times thinks shorter people have better chances of survival and will help save the planet by using less resources…okay, sure. So, now we need to worry about plastic, fossil fuels, CO2 emissions, and tall people. Scientifically, size does matter, when it comes to one’s carbon footprint. Short sapiens survive and save the planet.

Using LED bulbs, recycling, and driving electric cars is not enough, now we need to consider the size of our partner to ensure personal and planetary survival. Needless to say, all the talk about height has people pissed off from Pygmies to point guards. Read more on the subject before changing your dating profile or procreating. This whole thing reminds me of the 2017 Alexander Payne film Downsizing.

Time to listen to Randy Newman’s 1977 song, “Short People” because short people have every reason to live…longer.

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