Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah! Not even Disney could make plantation life look blissful

Disney has announced that Splash Mountain will officially close due to “racial stereotypes”. Don’t worry folks, the Magic Kingdom will still be magic…without the racism, or the incredible actors James Baskett, who plays Uncle Remus and Hattie McDaniel, who plays Aunt Tempy. A new updated, historically accurate, “reimagined” theme is on the horizon. So, now that Splash Mountain is undergoing a racism renovation, Stone Mountain must be next. Zip-A-Dee-Fucking-Doo-Dah!

The GOP is opposed to the closure of the Disney attraction, calling it an important piece of American history and a blueprint for how certain people should act. Republicans refuse to experience another Lost Cause and are threatening to storm the Magic Kingdom.

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