Advancing the Republican Party platform of, Lie Till We Die, Republican “leadership” in Texas recently determined that J.R. Ewing was actually shot by a wind turbine. Texas Republicans stated that Southfork Ranch fail victim to green energy just like the state’s power grid. Citing J.R. Ewing and Donald Trump as his idols, Texas Republican, Ted Cruz, declared patriots protect petroleum, while he was on a tarmac in Cancún. Cruz continued to talk from the tarmac however, the remainder of his speech was not audible as his head was up his ass.
“Never tell the truth when a good lie will do.” J.R. Ewing