Republicans will spend the 4th of July in America this year

Apple pie, hot dogs, and the sweet smell of democracy were no match for the authoritarian pull of Putin, and a vast land full of white Russians for Republicans. Perhaps you don’t remember but, several members of the GOP spent the 4th of July in Russia not long ago. Alas, another part of history Republicans are trying to rewrite.

Republicans ditched America for Russia, on what used to be a sacred holiday for the GOP – the 4th of July. Details are hazy on exactly what was discussed, or the reason for even going in the first place, due to a high consumption of Moscow Mules, borscht, and Kremlin talking points.

However, this July 4th holiday Republicans will remain in America, huddled together like Matryoshka dolls in the wrong order, and tolerate democracy, albeit with Siberian fueled souls of sedition as they celebrate Trump. So, it’s fireworks and fealty to Donald. Huzzah!

Enjoy the 4th of July safely America. Get vaccinated. Come on folks, if you put factory farmed processed meat, high fructose corn syrup, chitlins, or pop rock candy in your body, then a vaccine that will save your life is an easy choice. Then again, investigating a violent insurrection to overthrow America’s democracy should have been an easy choice too, yet Republicans managed to fuck it up.