After the embarrassing legal display from Individual 1’s attorneys yesterday, famed legal mind Jackie Chiles, has been added to his impeachment team. Individual 1 said he was honoring Black History month by including one of his favorite African Americans, Jackie Chiles. John Barron, Individual 1’s publicist, said Chiles legal services were secured after Chiles received his legal fees in advance via a cashiers check signed by David Dennison.
The “I could shoot somebody and I wouldn’t loose any voters” guy, also known as, Individual 1, is flaunting his immunity to consequences by continuing to lie about winning an election he clearly lost. Protecting Individual 1, is the top priority of his accomplices in the Republican Party, whom have largely refused to honor their oath to America, choosing instead to honor and protect Individual 1.
Jackie Chiles previously represented Cosmo Kramer, in an unfortunate coffee incident, and later went on to represent Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, and Elaine Benes in an unrelated event. Chiles is apparently looking forward to representing Individual 1, saying as long as Individual 1 does exactly what I tell him to do we shouldn’t have any problems. Chiles expressed that the insurrection charges against Individual 1 were outrageous, egregious, and preposterous.
Day 2 of the impeachment trial will begin with opening arguments from Chiles, who is now leading Individual 1’s legal team, word on the street is Chiles will argue that his client is an innocent bystander.
Shocked and chagrined, Jackie Chiles will now represent Individual 1.