Help Wanted: New Trump “African American”

Look at my African American over here, look at him,” Donald Trump squealed at a rally during the 2016 Presidential election, upon seeing a Black person in his crowd of primarily white supports. Gregory Cheadle, was that Black person, yet now, is no longer Trump’s “African American.” The Trump Administration is currently recruiting a new African American, please see the qualifications below, if interested in the position.


  • Must be African American, but not too African American.
  • Must have the ability to deny facts, history, science, sexism, and racism upon command.
  • Ability to ignore corruption, abuse of power, and the Constitution of the United States of America.
  • Detachment from empathy, truth and morals is a plus.
  • No attention to detail.
  • Avid Fox News viewership.
  • Ability to kneel for long durations.
  • Requires regular stays at Trump hotels (all costs are the sole responsibility of the African American).
  • Small hands are preferred, but not required.
  • Extensive experience working with snowflakes is preferred.
  • Must be able to say, “yes” to all Presidential requests at all times.


This is an unpaid position. The personal satisfaction of being Trump’s African American, is compensation far beyond that of what any salary could provide.


No health insurance is offered. The African American accepted in this role will be allowed on the grounds of Trump Hotels and Resorts (all costs are the sole responsibility of the African American) no more than 1 guest is allowed to accompany the African American (the guest cannot be African American).

How to Apply:

Regularly appear on Trump approved “news” outlets, glorify and praise Trump. Exception will be given to those applicants who regularly stay at Trump properties.

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