Twas the Night Before the Coup

Major Henry Livingston Jr. wrote “Account of a Visit From St. Nicholas” which would become known as, “Twas the Night Before Christmas” a story familiar to many, about that iconic magical guy, Santa Claus, who maintains millions of believers to this day. In honor of the poet from Poughkeepsie, democracy, the magic of Santa, and the call of justice, here’s a humorous poem for the holiday…

Twas the Night Before the Coup

Twas the night before the Coup when all through the Trump White House,

Not a creature had courage

Not even his spouse,

A noose was hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that Mike Pence would soon be there;

The republicans were negligent, all smug with big heads,

While visions of seditious power danced in their heads;

Mark Meadows in his kerchief and Donald with a Diet Coke,

Had just settled down for a little pre-coup nap.

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,

Donald dropped the remote and his ketchup splattered,

Away to the a mirror Donald slithered like a snake,

To apply more make-up, a red tie, and eat cake,

He was ready for his coup, as his people had all gathered,

With guns and a guillotine, because facts to them,

Do not matter.

He hated to lose, his ego had grown fatter,

Winning and appearance was all to him that mattered,

He screamed for his mob, calling them out by name,

Now Hawley, now Cruz, now Jordon, now Jackson,

On McCarthy, on Nunes, on Gosar, on Allen!

Topple the Capitol, topple The People, topple them all!

Let’s do away with democracy once and for all!

He was dressed for the cameras, as he stood at the mic,

With Rudy, Don Junior, and that pillow guy full of spite.

A bundle of lies he had flung on his back,

He looked just like a criminal, ready to attack,

His eyes darted side to side – his cheeks full of bronzer, his skin leather orange, like old shoes in a dumpster.

His sad silly lips, wielded lies at the Ellipse,

As his tiny little hands, formed little tiny fists.

With a wink of his eye and racist dog whistle call,

He took the proud boys off stand by and gave Putin a call.

The Capitol was attacked just like he wanted it to be,

His coup was underway, on that wild Wednesday planned day.

His words left no question and his actions let US know,

We had everything to dread, about this guy, from head to toe.

This guy’s not a leader, he has no conscience,

He doesn’t love America, but he does love Ivanka,

Just look at him smirk,

He’s a joke and criminal, he’s not only a loser, he’s a cheat and a swindler!

Thank goodness for justice, with her steadfast love of fact,

She saw his insurrection,

The con artist turned escape artist, can’t argue his way out of that.

Testimony, video, and even texts they deleted,

Now haunt he and his mob like patriotic poltergeists, who refuse to be defeated.

The People know not to turn our back on this foe,

Try a coup against America, and off to federal prison you go.

We heard him exclaim, as he was booked and put in cuffs,

I’m running again in 2028,

To make America hugely great!

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