Pence excited to be Donald’s Bottom Bitch

Republican Louie Gohmert, from Texas, is suing Mike Pence in a desperate attempt to overthrow democracy. Donald couldn’t get his keister kissing Attorney General, Billy Barr to overthrow the election results. So, Donald tapped his Texas toady and faithful lap dog, Louie with the task of suing Pence in order to stop the spread of democracy. Donald is fine with COVID spreading, yet he will not allow democracy to spread, not on his watch.

Pence expressed excitement about being able to finally wear a red dress, but seemed confused, and wondered what a red dress had to do with the election. So, Louie attempted to explain Donald’s latest legal exploit to Pence:

Pence: Donald said I get to wear a red dress.

Louie: Hmmm, not exactly Mikey. You see, I’m suing you. We’re trying to bring legal proceedings against America for redress. You know, to keep Donald in power.

Pence: Oh, redress. Funny, I thought you said red dress. So, I don’t get to wear a red dress?

Louie: No. But, hey, you get to wear the glow of Donald’s approval, and that’s the best thing a man can wear in our new Republican Party.

Pence: Darn it. I picked out a red dress that shows off my Christian cleavage, I even got a red lace mask so you can see through to my steadfast smile. Billy Barr told me I was Donald’s Bottom Bitch now that he’s gone.

Louie: I don’t trust what any damn Attorney General says, they’re always trying to attack my good name and intelligence.

Pence: I hear you Louie, Mother and I don’t trust them either. We follow the laws of God, not some Attorney General.

Louie: You’re a good man Mikey. You know what…I’m gonna see what I can do about you wearing that red dress. But, forget about wearing a mask, Donald don’t like mask wearing.

“The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus.” Louie Gohmert

bottom[ˈbädəm] bitch [ˈbiCH]; noun: a prostitute with high rank and favor with their pimp, receiving better jobs, perks, and special attention.

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Tami Warren is the writer and creator of Namaste Negro. She lives life with daily doses of humor in Denver, Colorado. Tami earned a B.A. in Sociology, from the University of Colorado. Tami keeps it high, in the Mile High City. Humor is healthy, so cachinnate. Compassion and comedy are not required, but they are extremely helpful. We are all connected on this planet. So, we may as well greet each other and say, Namaste. Hate is heavy, be light.

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