By Tami Warren
Who doesn’t have an embarrassing story about something their parent did or said? Whether in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood, parents usually present a WTF moment, that you cannot reasonably explain away, leaving an awkward and horrified feeling, you file under “mortified mom moments” or “disconcerted dad data,” either way, most people have embarrassing parent files that could fill a storage unit or requires extended iCloud space. Maybe your dad made pork chops for your vegan non-binary Muslim friend, bragged about his affair with his secretary, or still thinks Bill Cosby is “America’s Dad.” Maybe your mom wears a bronzed piece of your umbilical cord as jewelry, extracts oxygen from the room with aphorisms about your personal failures, or perhaps she too, brags about her affair with your dad’s secretary.
It doesn’t seem fair that you should be accountable for the weird stuff your parents do or say. Yet, somehow, you run the risk of their strange shit, reflecting directly upon you. Which forces some people into an Olivia Pope level of damage control, as they attempt to diplomatically, highlight the differences in philosophy, belief, or diet, they steadfastly maintain, in stark contrast to their parents. Others, find the comedy in fathers of furor, and mothers of mayhem, as they doggie paddle in a sea of tumult, desperate to inspire laughter, hoping it is their well timed punchlines, to which they are endeared, instead of their particular parental unit. Full disclosure, I’m among the latter, doggie paddling with the intent to stay above the rising sea levels. I shared with my son, that I am the black sheep of my family, he looked at me, and replied rhetorically, “Doesn’t that just make you the sheep?” Indeed, the comedic force is strong in his soul, making it my honor, to be this kid’s mother.
With kids and parents, variation in credo, ensures “cool” is kept current and exclusive, like a dinner reservation at Fleming by Le Bilboquet. However, generationally generated gaffes, are not the only gulfs, fueling offspring to literally avoid contact with parental units. Fundamental caverns in beliefs are hindering offspring from the obligatory impulse to even communicate with their parents via text, much less, have an actual face to face conversation. Yes, parental relationships can be complex, even creepy, the bittersweet cocktail of love and lies, scars even the strongest souls.
Having said that, it’s pretty peculiar, Ivanka Kushner Trump, Volunteer Advisor to the President, refuses to hyphenate, much less repudiate the bigotry bolstered by her dad. Perhaps it’s an inheritance issue, being bequeathed beach front property and behavioral traits is multi-layered. Or perhaps, Ivanka is a real life Bad Seed, one of the best films ever made, except Ivanka is outfitted with stealthy stilettos, to weaponize, instead of tap shoes, like Rhoda Penmark. Regardless, they are public figures, and the American public deserves a camera on a dolly track around this first family’s dinner table. We must see how the televised Trump trifecta version of Succession, Survivor and Duck Dynasty, will unfold, as this dramatic mini series plays out. Spoiler alert, a leak from one of the acting
cast cabinet, reveals a close family member will betray the patriarch Fredo style in the finale. As in life, no one escapes unscathed, turns out, everyone’s father is a motherfucker.