Donald will sign an Executive Order banning Left Handers Day as well as banning people using their left hand, as their dominant hand. Donald is going after the “radical left” at all costs and insists the root of all problems in America are on the left.

The solution to solving all problems starts with preventing people from using their left hand, because anyone using their left hand, is radical.

We must stop the madness of left hand usage and under the pasty makeup covered hands of Donald, the radical left usage of left hands, will finally stop.

Donald is considering imposing tariffs on people who use their left hand. A special exemption is being considered by Donald for left hand usage, which details that left hand usage will only be permitted if the person is using their left hand to please Donald.

Prohibiting left hand usage will not impede any of the circle jerks regularly held during Donald’s cabinet meetings.

The left hand will no longer be considered an acceptable or legal, dominant hand. Under Donald, the right hand is dominant and he will stop the radical left, hand.

Left handers are never right.